I'm religious but not spiritual. ;-)

I have had an unliturgical life for the last couple of weeks.  I had every intention of hosting a St. Nicholas Day party again this year but I didn't even put candy in anyone's shoes.  I had a high-minded idea that I could bake a St. Lucia's Day braid for my work's bake-sale that happened to coincide with her feast day but decided on banana bread instead.  Alas, the bananas are now in my freezer and all the bake-sale got from me was a donation.

I mock my friends (tongue in cheek) telling them that they have bought in to the media Christmas hype while I dutifully honor the Advent season.  About the farthest my duty extends is changing my Facebook profile picture to reflect the changing Advent wreathe from week to week.  Now that's spirituality.

My words seem idle and my prayer seems stale and I blame this on... lack of community.  I've missed church for the last couple of weeks and I miss the 'jump-start' and rejuvenation that I get from that.  Not to mention that it is a mortal sin.  :-)

Haha okay forget the mortal sin part... I was just trying to keep you on your toes.  But the lack of community part... I hope you don't forget that and I'll try not to either.  What burdens are not easier when shared?  "For where 2 or 3 are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Many of my friends, many bumper stickers, and many of my friends that read bumper stickers all claim that they are 'spiritual but not religious.'  I think I've finally found a cliché that I don't fall in to!  Imagine me, not necessarily a walking stereotype for once.  I don't know where my spirituality would be without organized religion.  The last couple of weeks are of evidence of that.

Don't they say when you fall off the horse you get right back on?  Well this vegetarian is going to take that advice.  There's always next year to make a Jesse tree.  In the mean time I'm going to focus on the final week of Advent and look forward to those cowboy boots that I'm almost sure are going to end up under my tree this year.

O Come O Come Emmanuel.

St. Andrew's Day - Living Liturgically

Apparently the Episcopal Church in the United States has a special relationship with Scotland.  After the Revolutionary War was over the "Church of England" in the United States couldn't really carry on being the "Church of England."  I'm not trying to provide a valid history lesson or anything.  If you'd like more information I'm sure you could 'google it.'  But long story short - these Anglicans in the U.S. needed a Bishop and the recent war with England meant that an English Bishop probably wouldn't be consecrating an American Bishop any time soon.

The Anglicans (Episcopalians) in the United States elected Samuel Seabury to be their first Bishop.  Since he couldn't be consecrated in England he was consecrated by Scottish Bishops.  This started a special relationship or affinity for Scotland I am told.  Even the coat of arms and flag of the Episcopal Church reflects this.  The St. George Cross (St. George is the patron saint of England) makes up the main part of the shield but the St. Andrew Cross (St. Andrew is the patron saint of Scotland) is put in the upper left hand corner.

Anyway... on to the baking.  Since yesterday was St. Andrew's day I decided that a good Episcopalian might decide to make St. Andrew Day scones to mark the occasion.  Am I a good Episcopalian?  The jury is out on that but I can assure you that the scones were really tasty.

First I preheated the oven at 400 degrees.

 

Then I did some mixing. I cut 1/3 cup of butter with 1 3/4 cup flour, 3 tbsp. sugar, 2 1/2 tsp. baking powder, and 1/4 tsp. salt.  I then beat an egg and mixed that in too.

 

Once it was done mixing I gathered it up into a ball and kneaded it about 15 times.  Then I rolled it out and made and cut circles into the rolled out dough.  (I used a water glass.)

You can see that the recipe made about 9 scones.  I sliced X's on all of the scones.  The St. Andrew cross is an X because the old legend is that he was crucified on an X shaped cross.  I always heard growing up that this was because he didn't feel worthy to be crucified on a T shaped cross like Jesus.  Fact or fiction?  Who knows but the scones turned out great.

The scones tasted good but it was really my dad's homemade red raspberry jam that sealed the deal.  Delicious.  I don't necessarily feel more Episcopalian but it kept me thinking about my Christian experience and it was fun to share some scones with friends at work today.

Happy New Year

The type of person I imagine reading this blog is the type of person that I assume has seen Julie & Julia.  I loved that movie.  I don’t think of myself as recreating Julie’s quest, cooking her way through The Art of French Cooking but I do like the idea that she gave herself a year to finish her project.

My ‘project’ is a spiritual journey.  I’m going to give myself a year to decide if I am going to take the formal plunge to join the Episcopal Church.  I don’t take this journey lightly.  I am a mixture of doubt and conviction.  The conviction is harder to deal with than the doubt.  I’ve always admired some people with strong faith.


Some people with strong faith seem like childish, brain-washed ‘yes men and women’ that I would hardly admire.  On the other hand, some people with strong faith have the same questions that I have but have an innate trust in the Almighty that I truly admire.  Doubt is almost a side-issue for me.  I decided a long time ago that I may always have doubt but that I would ‘choose’ to believe during the times that belief was the hardest.  My struggle will come with my convictions.

My parents were both Protestant converts to Catholicism.  I was raised in an observant Catholic home that lacked some of the ‘piety’ one might find in a home run by ‘Cradle Catholics.’  My parent’s families’ lack of Catholicism – and more to the point – their fullness of born-again Christianity made me question my faith from a very early age.  Was I saved?  Was my immediate family’s Catholicism a ticket to heaven or a one way ticket to the fires of hell?  This is a lot for a 10 year old to deal with but in the end I’m sure all of these questions did more good than harm.  It made me search for answers.

I found the answers in an old closet full of old books.  Looking back I’m sure that most 12 year old boys were not reading The Baltimore Catechism in the late 1980’s.  At the time it didn’t seem that extraordinary.  And the answers it provided were easy!  Question 1:  Who made the world?  God!  Question 2:  Who is God?  The Creator of the world!  etc!  These answers were good news to my 12 year old brain.  I realize now that the answers in the Baltimore Catechism, correct or incorrect, are pretty simplistic and not enough to satisfy a faith that would be challenged over the years.

But there is one question that seems to be harder to get over (conviction wise) and that is Question 10:  How shall we know the things which we are to believe?  We shall know the things which we are to believe from the Catholic Church, through which God speaks to us.

Hmm.  I know, I know… how could this be the ‘hard one’ for me?  It always made sense to me.  I mean if you’re actually going to believe that God decided to become a person then how far-fetched is it to believe that God would leave the Church to take care of that belief?  My cousins who had challenged my faith with the ‘are you saved’ questions couldn’t boast an institution as old as the Catholic Church.  And it was big!  Yeah there had been schisms and heresies but ‘The Church’ had pretty much held together.  Good for it!

So what is a gay Catholic to do?  I want to participate fully in the life of the church while at the same time participate fully in the life that the Creator gave to me.

Only time will tell.  The church year started on Sunday and I thought that this would be a great place to start my own discernment process as well.  Happy New Year!